Goodbye

By now you might know that I am a senior and will be graduating and leaving high school to continue my education at college.  My classes at Kickapoo will be ending on May 6.  It has been a little stressful, a bit sad, but I am ready to move on with my life and become more independent. I am happy to say that I am looking into studying literature and live theater.  This summer I am going to travel to California and also be part of two musicals. I will be really busy over the summer and when I go back to school I know there will be no free time so I will probably not be able to write anymore. I am sorry to say that but it was nice talking to you. I hope you enjoyed talking to me, and have an amazing summer.
From
Erin

This is...

This is an old family photo,
that was took at Silver Dollar city
when they still had tin type prints.

This a man whose family was complete,
but he recently dealt with the lost of his dad,
and he knew he would never smoke by his children.
He would later reveal his depression and anxiety,
that would hold everyone back.

This is a mother,
who held our hands
and took us to the library every week.
She made sure we were happy,
and didn't think of her own happiness.

This is the oldest child,
who would grow up,
and separate from our family,
leaving us behind,
and joining a "better" family.

This is the only boy,
who played soccer
and any other sport.
The smarted in the family
but the only one to drop classes,
but not the only child who had an attitude problem.

This is the spectator,
who sees everything happening before her.
She wants to help her family become a family once again
but knows that it is impossible to take back things other has said.
Depression used to rain over her
because she knew the fact that her family of five,
had slowly turned into a family of three.

Photo Questions

My dad is the one who takes the photos, in fact he is really the only one who even touches the camera and of course he is also the one who is never in the photos.  Our photos are in our albums that are located in our downstairs guest bedroom, on the top self of a desk.  We have our school photos in a picture frame that shows the progression of every school year that is located in the hallway. All of the family photos are important to me because it reminds me of a happier time, when I didn't know of the drama that my sibling were going to create. My favorite photo is the one of my grandpa and me.  It was just after I was born and he was holding me in the hospital, that is the only photo that I have of him and me because he died when I was only 3.  I wish I had more photos of him and me and a photo of my best friend and me when we were babies together.

Iconic Photos

New York after power failure.

Authors Note/meeting the required word length: This would be the time to be in New York because of the rare occurrence of being in this place without lights. I really wonder how people reacted to this and exactly what cause the power outage. Well, here is what I think would have happened...

The city was filled with lights that distracted cab drivers but they grew used to it.  The tourist were the ones that were in aw of the lights.  Each building was covered by big screens that showed the news or advertisements for the next big thing.  The screens showed the weather and Broadway musicals that amazed those who saw the show.  Tourist would look up at the sky, gasping at the screens, all of their focus on them.   The day that the the power failure, the tourist were not the only ones looking at the sky.  The New York city residents thoughts that the world was ending and that this was a sign from God.  But the tourist didn't think anything of it, they thought it might be a regular occurrence, that they did not know about. They were wrong, and the citizens panicked.

Flea Market Photo

She always had a stern look on her face, my sister and I assume that it was her resting face, the face that she was most comfortable with.  She often glared at us through her glasses, sometimes when she was severally disappointing she would look at us through the bottom of her glasses, showing more of an irritated look.  Today she gave me the look of irritation as I looked into her eyes trying to hold back tears.  I knew that my sister was in the other room listening into our mother daughter conversation and that she was growing worried each time I  raised my voice.  This was a normal event in our household, me yelling at my mother, and I often ranted about it to my sister once mother would send me up to my room.
"I don't understand, why you fight against me so often," she spat through her teeth, making a snake noise with every s she said, making me even more irritated.
"Because you don't listen to me, you discipline me before you know what even happened, you assume, I did wrong." I yell back, there is no point of being calm anymore, I am past the point of calming down.
"If you believe that then I can't do anything to reverse you opinions." she stated calmly which made me even more angry.
"Fine, fine. Never mind." I stormed out of the room and up the stairs before she could even have the chance to respond. I passed my sister before I found my bedroom door, and she had tears in her eyes as she tried to reach out to comfort me.  I shoved pass and without touching the door I slammed it, not giving my mother the satisfaction of thinking she won this fight.
I paced my bedroom, as I passed things that were a couple feet away they flew across the room as I passed by them.  Even more frustrated than before, I begin to pace faster screaming random word for the whole world to hear.  Who cares if everyone in our neighborhood hears me, it will prove that I exist.
I started to think over our fight, and how mother never would hear me out.  Often times I had to retreat up to my room to let my emotions out so that I wouldn't send her precious furniture across the room. Our fights consisted of me yelling at her, telling her that I wanted to see what the outside world was like. She didn't trust me and my power and I honestly didn't even trust myself but I wanted to be around other people than my mother and misunderstanding sister.
I walked over to my window as I heard some of my furniture crash against my wall. If I wanted the crashing to stop I had to calm myself down, so I looked out my barred window, hoping for peace but instead I found a ax that was resting in our stump of wood.  I focused all my attention, and anger on the ax and then it started to levitate towards my barred window.  I quickly opened the window, reaching my arm as far out as I could with the bars stopping me, the wood handle of the ax, fell into my hand and I withdrew my arm from outside.  I could feel my anger pump through my veins as items flew across the room. Walking through the chaos with my weapon in hand, heading towards the door that leads to my mother.

Chinese Friends

I met Zoe, a senior who seem around our age, and Lang, a husband who had one daughter.  Zoe seemed to understand English easier than Lang and she would often talk to him in Chinese to help with the confusion, but Lang would constantly look up words on his phone.  Zoe told us that there was no activities like sports, theatre, or any after school activities, she said that at her school they would start class at 6:30 and end around 5, they would then have a break where they would go home and have dinner and come back to school to study until 10.  She said that she would have loved to have gone to school here where she could have free time and have a dedicated hobby.  I told her about being in theatre and that I have been part of 5 shows, soon to be 6 and she was amazed by that.  I also talked to her about my family, and how I love reading, which she too loved.  Lang however did not talk a lot. We tried to show them around the majority of the school and they seemed to be interested in band, choir, orchestra, and theatre.  For choir I showed them our robes and our practice rooms and Honeycutt was in the room to show them the orchestra room, in which they plucked some of the cello strings.  In the theater, I showed them the classroom, the view of the stage from the audience, the workshop, the loft, and a view from backstage.  Zoe seemed really interested in this and started asking me if she could see the show when it is done.  She was amazed when I showed them the new theater being built. They asked a lot of questions about what happens after school, in which I told them that some people stay and practice for sports or other activities, and they were surprised that people could just leave once school was done. I already knew how hard the school system is in China but meeting someone who had to go through that process just made it seem more realistic.  If we had more time I would have loved to show them the library and the science classrooms.  I would have enjoyed hearing about more of a life in China and the types of architecture and popular nature parts of the country.

Photo Hunt

Someone who makes me smile

Cassie is way too random and she isn't afraid to ask me questions that most people would find too personal. This has helped us become better friends faster and anytime I'm around her she makes me smile. #Cassieforpresident.

Someone who has taught me something

Well, the teacher that I believe taught me the most is Mrs. Butcher, and she is no longer here.  She taught me that I am smart enough to take honors classes and that I need to put myself out there more, this helped me a lot sophomore year, to gain more confidence. #bringbutcherback

Someone you'd like to be more like

Hannah and I have grown up together, our moms knew each other when they were pregnant with us, so her house is basically a second home.  Hannah is such a positive person and she is such a joy to be around.  When the conversations take a nasty turn she knows how to bring them back to the light side.  She has helped me become a better person without her even knowing that she is. #dontleavefortruman

something quintessentially American

When I think of America, my mind goes straight to the fact that we love sports.  This is really hard for someone like myself that does not enjoy sitting watching someone play, but I do enjoy playing myself.  As a child, I played in multiple different sports and get dragged to many of my brothers games as well as professional games, and I did not enjoy that. #feelingunamerican

something square

I like typing more than I do writing, I am a faster typer and I hate how my handwriting looks when I write fast, big and unledgable, so when I have a million thoughts in my head I find it easier to type. #usuallyhatetechnology 

something round

I always seem to sit down on these seats the wrong way, so that I have to pull my legs over the bar.  These tables will always bring back the memory of a crowded room and construction workers.  I am sad that they took away the outside area, that was my one time during the school day to get a fresh breath of air and it really helped me calm my mind. #wantthefreshairback

interseting angle

I find these hanging plants to be an odd consept.  You don't really get to see the plant, if it is not growing over, you only get to see the pot. Well, hopefully you have an interesting flower pot. #letshaveseethroughflowerpots

something handwritten

This is the Senior Ladies wall in the girls dressing room of the theatre.  Some of the seniors haven't signed their name on the wall yet, Cassie, but hopefully they will remember. #cassiedontforget

something from nature

Sadly, most of my classes don't have a window, so when there is a class with a window, I find myself looking out it and missing important information.  Even if I am just watching birds or rain, I find it so entertaining. #outdoorclassroom

somthing that looks like a face but really isn't

When I was a kid, I always used to wonder why the face of this was so sad or shocked, and honestly I still wonder that. #nevergrowingup

something a little kid might notice

someone drew a Toothless on the wall of the girls dressing room, it seemed to just appear overnight and at that time I was spending everyday in that room trying to figure out designs, when I got frustrated I started talking to it, it didn't respond. #awildtoothless

something that brings back memories

Oh my goodness, this is probably one of the most stressful things I have ever done.  I was in charge of makeup for lion king jr, and lets just say I was in over my head, but it turned out okay, no one got an eye poked out and now I have an amazing memory and the feeling that I can do something as long as I work hard. #workwork

something that irritates me

The fact that we are getting a new theater and I am unable to preform or work in it kinda makes me want to fail a class so I can stay for another year. #dontwannagrowup

something beautiful

I love the time of year when it can still be winter like weather but then flowers start blooming. I love the weather of winter but I adore nature during the summer, this is a nice middle ground. #winterflowers

something that will always remind you of being at KHS

I am so happy that I got involved in theatre but I regret not being part of it sooner, this is a place that has felt like a comfort zone and a place I can go to hang out after school. #homeiswherethetheateris