Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Flea Market Photo




She always had a stern look on her face, my sister and I assume that it was her resting face, the face that she was most comfortable with.  She often glared at us through her glasses, sometimes when she was severally disappointing she would look at us through the bottom of her glasses, showing more of an irritated look.  Today she gave me the look of irritation as I looked into her eyes trying to hold back tears.  I knew that my sister was in the other room listening into our mother daughter conversation and that she was growing worried each time I  raised my voice.  This was a normal event in our household, me yelling at my mother, and I often ranted about it to my sister once mother would send me up to my room.
"I don't understand, why you fight against me so often," she spat through her teeth, making a snake noise with every s she said, making me even more irritated.
"Because you don't listen to me, you discipline me before you know what even happened, you assume, I did wrong." I yell back, there is no point of being calm anymore, I am past the point of calming down.
"If you believe that then I can't do anything to reverse you opinions." she stated calmly which made me even more angry.
"Fine, fine. Never mind." I stormed out of the room and up the stairs before she could even have the chance to respond. I passed my sister before I found my bedroom door, and she had tears in her eyes as she tried to reach out to comfort me.  I shoved pass and without touching the door I slammed it, not giving my mother the satisfaction of thinking she won this fight.
I paced my bedroom, as I passed things that were a couple feet away they flew across the room as I passed by them.  Even more frustrated than before, I begin to pace faster screaming random word for the whole world to hear.  Who cares if everyone in our neighborhood hears me, it will prove that I exist.
I started to think over our fight, and how mother never would hear me out.  Often times I had to retreat up to my room to let my emotions out so that I wouldn't send her precious furniture across the room. Our fights consisted of me yelling at her, telling her that I wanted to see what the outside world was like. She didn't trust me and my power and I honestly didn't even trust myself but I wanted to be around other people than my mother and misunderstanding sister.
I walked over to my window as I heard some of my furniture crash against my wall. If I wanted the crashing to stop I had to calm myself down, so I looked out my barred window, hoping for peace but instead I found a ax that was resting in our stump of wood.  I focused all my attention, and anger on the ax and then it started to levitate towards my barred window.  I quickly opened the window, reaching my arm as far out as I could with the bars stopping me, the wood handle of the ax, fell into my hand and I withdrew my arm from outside.  I could feel my anger pump through my veins as items flew across the room. Walking through the chaos with my weapon in hand, heading towards the door that leads to my mother.

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